Dear Grammy...

If you know me well, you probably know that I would love to have lived in the early 1900’s. In many ways I have an “old soul” that is attracted to ways of life in the past. I frequently think about what it would be like, specifically, what it would be like without the distractions of technology. Without the interference of today’s world, I believe that more time was spent enjoying moments of togetherness and worries that exist now didn’t exist then. I wonder a lot about how people spent their time without social media, TV, gaming systems, and cell phones.

While my life would be drastically different, it wouldn’t at all bother me that text messages didn’t exist, we never watched TV, we walked to the store or we had to wait a few days for a letter response from friends. We would grow most of our food, then I'd prepare a fresh meal and wait for my husband to return from work each day. We would then eat by candlelight with the kids, talking about the day. If it were the 1900’s, I wouldn’t be sitting here with the news on, asking Google what the weather is going to be like today, or typing this to you on my laptop. Maybe I am the only one, but life in 2021 seems a lot more complicated than in 1921 and to me the simplicity of 100 years ago is a big attraction.

My great grandmother would have been close to my age in the 1940’s. While the only memories I have of her are pictures and stories, I wonder about her life frequently. She is remembered as a lady of great faith, who was always upbeat, positive and looking to Jesus. She served God in many ways through her time and talents despite no support from her husband. She raised a family with very little. My mom, grandma, and everyone that remembers her, speak highly. Her memory brings joy, light, and happiness to the legacy she has left behind. She has empowered amazing women in my family to be better wives, mothers, daughters and sisters. While our day to day lives might be different, my Grammy and I share something: she too had a daughter with cancer.

In the 1940’s childhood cancer must have been a total mystery. I can't even imagine the pain she felt, the hope she lacked, and the fear she had. Like my Aria, her daughter was young. Through stories I have learned that they traveled by train to New York City to try the latest chemo-therapies that had just been invented. Today these medications are the front line treatments. At that time, the order and plan for chemotherapy wasn’t in place. Doctors didn’t know how to properly treat, what the side effects would be, or any idea of the outcome. Despite my great grandmother's effort to save her child, she lost her daughter.

My thoughts of living in a different time fade quickly when I think about the struggles our Aria Joy has dealt with in the past year. When we stop and realize the blessings we have, we lose our negative discontentment. Science and technology have come so far just in the past few years. If it wasn’t for the advances in immunotherapy, my daughter wouldn’t be alive right now. Not only did they not have chemotherapy in the early 1900’s, I am sure they didn’t even know how to diagnose childhood cancer and hospitals specifically for children were sparse.

I am reminded when I think of my love for the early 1900’s that God created me for 2021.

" I have summoned you by name; you are mine." Isaiah 43:1

One of my favorite books in the Bible is Esther. I love her story. As queen, Esther saves her people with a strategic plan, acts with faith, and a large amount of courage. In order to protect the Jews, she has to question the king. You see, her uncle Mordecai refused to bow down to the king’s new adviser Haman, who got so angry that he wanted Mordecai and all of the Jewish people killed. Queen Esther knew she could stop it by telling the king she was a jew. During this time, it wasn't commonplace for a woman to speak up. So she came up with a plan and bravely approached the king to admit she was a jew. The king got angry at Haman. He was killed, the Jews were saved, and Esther became a hero to her people. Like you and I were created for 2021, Esther was created for that time!

"For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14

There are many days, I wish I could talk with my Grammy. She would truly understand the heartache, the fear, the sorrow, the hurt, and the sick to my stomach feeling I get just thinking about cancer. Like Esther, she made a difference in her time and for decades after, despite her circumstances. I know that my Grammy would remind me, to remind us all, of the hope we have in Jesus. Despite our broken world around us, we were made for such a time as this.

Dear Grammy, I hope I make you proud.