A Different Kind of Heart Health

Our hearts are like soil. Whatever we plant—whether it’s words, images, music, conversations, or attitudes—will eventually grow into something. The more I think about that, the more I realize how important it is to be intentional about what I allow into my life. It’s okay to say no to things that don’t serve a purpose or bring value.

In some ways, I think of it like Marie Kondo’s approach to decluttering our homes—letting go of what no longer serves us. In a similar way, I’m learning to let go of things in my life that simply don’t belong anymore. Not everything deserves a place in my heart.

Sometimes that means saying no to conversations that leave me feeling drained or negative. It means being more thoughtful about the entertainment I consume and whether it truly aligns with my values. It also means saying no to commitments that pull me away from my first priorities—being a wife, a mom, and following where God is leading our family.

The Bible says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23). That verse has taken on deeper meaning for me over the years. Guarding my heart means being intentional about what I allow to take root there, because the truth is, what we take in really does shape who we become.

As a parent, this is a difficult truth to live out. We want so badly to protect our children from anything that could bring them pain or sorrow. But the reality is, we can’t monitor every influence forever. I’m sure most of us heard growing up, “You are who your friends are.” There is a lot of truth in that.

At the same time, I don’t believe our kids should be completely sheltered from every sinful or broken thing in this world. They need to understand that we are all sinners in need of a Savior, and that everyone deserves the love of Jesus. While we can’t protect our children from everything, we can teach them how to guard their hearts—to be aware, discerning, and grounded in truth.

Scripture reminds us, “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’” (1 Corinthians 15:33). This isn’t about fear—it’s about wisdom. It’s about helping our kids learn how to make choices that protect their hearts while still loving people well.

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that no matter how much we want to protect our children, we can’t shield them from everything. Our family’s experience with childhood cancer has changed all of us in ways I never could have imagined—especially my middle daughter.

She has known worry in a way no child ever should. There are moments when I can see the weight of concern sitting on her little heart, and it breaks me as a mom. And yet, through it all, she has become one of the most caring, compassionate, and tender-hearted little girls I know. (Unless your on the opposite team on the soccer field!)

While I would never choose this journey for our family, I have seen how God has used it to shape Everly's heart with empathy and love. She notices when others are hurting. She comforts. She cares deeply. It’s a beautiful reminder that even in the hardest circumstances, God is still working.

It reminds me that while we can’t always prevent painful experiences, God can redeem them. He can take what is broken and use it to grow something beautiful within us. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)

Guarding our hearts doesn’t mean we live untouched by pain. It means we bring our pain, our worries, and our experiences to God and allow Him to shape us through them. It means trusting Him with not only our own hearts, but with our children’s hearts too.

My prayer is that as I guard my own heart, I can also model for my children what it looks like to turn to God in fear and uncertainty, to choose kindness even when life is hard, to protect their minds and spirits with wisdom, and to trust that God is working—even when we don’t understand.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” (Romans 8:28)

This February, as hearts are everywhere we look, my prayer is not just for healthy physical hearts—but for guarded, rooted, Christ-centered hearts in our home. Hearts that are protected, yes—but also soft, loving, and open to the

work God is doing in and through us.